Hetalia at Hogwarts!
by The Inferno Alchemist
Summary: Dumbledore asks England to teach History of Magic at Hogwarts, and also watch out for Harry Potter, so England decides to bring along some of his fellow nations! What happens next? If we know the Hetalia and Harry Potter characters, it's going to be hilarious and chaotic. T for language. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Rated T for aph cast's colorful vocab. UNFINISHED
1. What the fuck is Iggy asking us to do?

**So, this is my first real fanfic. Please don't criticize too much. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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England took a deep breath as he prepared to enter the World Meeting room.

Today he had some very important news to share with the other nations; he just hoped they would agree to his plan.

Suddenly, a loud, obnoxious american interrupted his thoughts. "Yo, Britain! The meeting's about to start and everyone's waiting for you!" England sighed to himself. "I guess I can't put it off any longer," he thought to himself.

He pushed open the door, and looked around.

Japan was sitting in his seat talking with China, Russia was smiling creepily at the Baltics, and Spain was arguing with Romano while Italy cowered behind his brother.

America was just shouting, "I'm the hero!, while Prussia was booming, "Ze awesome me tells everyone to shut up und drink some bier!"

Then, Germany stood up and yelled as he pounded his fists on the table, "Bruder, no bier. Everyone shut up und sit down! Britain has un important announcement!"

England cleared his throat. "So, as you all know, in my country, there is a school of magic called Hogwarts-

"Ve~I have-a heard of this-a school-a! Do-a they have-a pastaaa?" "Italy bro, just let Britain talk!" stated America.

"Thanks America, " England replied, then continued with his explanation, "The head master, Dumbledore-

"Ve~ Why-a would his-a name-a be Dumbwhore?"

England glared at Italy. "His name is Dumbledore!

He is one of the most powerful wizards ever! He invited me to teach at his school of magic, and to also watch over one of his students, Harry Potter. He is the one whom the Dark Lord tried to kill. He also asked if any of the other nations would like to come along. You would have to be students, so I would use a de-aging spell, since you have no magical knowledge. Also, Dumbledore is the only one who knows we are nations, so we all must use our humans names. No country names allowed. I will leave a sheet on the table, write your country name and human on it. I will collect the sheet at the end of the day.

Once again, all the nations started talking again.

"Ve~Germany, can we-a go-a to this-a school and eat-a pastaaaaa?" Italy inquired.

"Maybe Italy," responded Germany.

"Dude! The Warthog place sounds kickass,, right Canadia?!" said America.

"It's Canada, not Canadia," replied Canada. He was so sick of America getting his name wrong.

"Totally knew that bro!"

"I agree with America," Japan said.

"Damn it Japan! Get your own fucking opinion!" yelled Switzerland.

~ TIME SKIP ~

Arthur walked into the meeting room and looks at the sheet. This was the list:

ENGLAND - ARTHUR KIRKLAND

AMERICA - ALFRED F JONES

FRANCE - FRANCIS BONNEFOY

GERMANY - LUDWIG BIELSHMIDT

ITALY - FELICIANO VARGAS

ROMANO - LOVINO VARGAS

SPAIN - ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO

RUSSIA - IVAN BRAGINSKY

PRUSSIA - GILBERT BIELSHMIDT

LITHUANIA - TORIS LAURINAITIS

JAPAN - KIKU HONDA

CHINA - YAO WANG

HUNGARY - ELIZABETA HEDERVARY

AUSTRIA - RODERICH EDELSTEIN

CANADA - MATTHEW WILLIAMS

POLAND - FELIKS LUCASIEWICZ

BELARUS - NATALIA ARLOVSKAYA

ESTONIA - EDUARD VON BOCK

LATVIA - RAIVIS GALANTE

SEALAND - PETER KIRKLAND

~ TIME SKIP AGAIN ~

"Has everyone got their stuff?" England asked. "Why do we have to be 13?" asked America. "I'm too small!"

"There aren't enough slots open teaching spots, and none of you know anything about magic. Remember, we a lll need to keep an eye out for Harry Potter." England replied. "Okay, lets go to Diagon Alley! We need to get all of our school supplies."

"Ve~Doitsu, do they-a have-a any cats?" asked Italy.

"Yes, Feli, zey do." said Germany.

"Vest! Do you think dat zey have awesome birds?" asked Prussia. "Yes, Gilbert. They have owls. Lots und lots of owls. Also, remember to use your human name."

The arguing group made their way into the Magical Menagerie.

Germany caught sight of a magnificent owl. "Dis owl, it is amazing. It will make a good pet." Germany thought to himself.

Spain was staring at a small red frog. "Is this frog poisonous?" he asked the clerk. "No, most people just think she is because of her colour. We have two of these frogs."

"Lovi! You should get the other one. Then they will match!"

"No tomato bastard! Go away-a! And don't call me Lovi!"

"Ve~ Bri- Arthur can-a we-a get our wands-a yet?" asked Italy, holding his new tabby kitten named (**A/N You'll never guess!) **PASTAAAA!

"Yes, Feliciano, we are heading there right now." replied England

**(A/N I'm not going to write the whole part where they decide their wands, so that is up to you)**

~EVERYONE GET ON THE TARDIS!~

Everyone had gotten their trunks packed with their newly-bought stuff, so in the morning, all of them were ready for Hogwarts. On their way to King's Cross Station, England said,

"Once we arrive at Hogwarts, you will go to the Great Hall to be sorted. When your name is called, you need to go up on stage, sit ont he chair, and try on the hat. The hat is going to sort you into on of the 4 houses, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Then, you will sit at your new house's table. Remember, use your country names and try to act normal."

"Jerk Engla- Arthur, we've got it. Just hurry up!" said Sealand.

Once the group reached the station, all of them are confused.

"Where-a is-a the station-a 9 and-a 3/4? asked Romano.

"Ze awesome me does not see vere the station is!" said Prussia

"Just follow me. You will need to run straight into that wall over there."

"What! I am like, totally not going to like smash my face into that wall," said Poland

"Stop it everyone! You will be fine. It's a magic wall. When you get through there, you will find yourself at platform 9 and 3/4. Then just wait for the rest of the countries. Remember, ONLY HUMAN NAMES!"

"Ve~ I-a want to-a sit-a with mi fratello and Doi- Ludwig!"

"Ugh fine Ita-I mean Feli"

"Hurry up everyone! Remember, our story is that you are part of a foreign exchange program. Got it? Now, get on the train before it leaves!"

Everyone hurried to get on the train, but some had trouble finding compartments.

Eventually, Spain, Romano, Italy, Germany and Prussia find an empty compartment, the Baltics just go in the opposite direction of Russia, America, England, Japan, China and Canada join Harry, Ron and Hermione in a compartment, and everyone else just fits in wherever they can.

As they are riding the train, England says, "I'm sorry, but I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Arthur Kirkland, and I will be your History of Magic teacher at Hogwarts. These four are new transfer students. I assume that you are Harry Potter?"

"Yes, that's me. This is Ron, and Hermione." said Harry.

"I'm Alfred, and I'm the HERO!" said America.

"Herro, my name is Kiku Honda, and I am from Japan. This is Yao Wang, and he is from China. Preasure to meet you," said Japan.

"Hi, I'm Matthew. I'm Canadian." said Canada, but as usual, he went unnoticed. Poor Canada.

"I'm Hermione, and we should change into our robes now. We are almost there."

Soon after they had changed into their robes, the train pulled to a stop. As everyone got off the train, they heard a gruff voice calling, "First years and transfers, follow me. This way, first years and transfers. Only 3 to a boat"

The Nations all piled into the boats, fighting over who would sit with who. Eventually Italy ended up with Romano and Germany.

Everyone gasped when the caught sight of Hogwarts. "It's amazing!" "This is so cool!" Ve~Ooh! A castle!"

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**So, what do you think? Please review this, because it encourages me to keep on writing.**

**Thanks :)**


	2. Why the hell did we agree to come here?

**Hetalia at Hogwarts! Chapter 2 Hope you like Chapter 2 Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, I would be making an actual show like this instead of writing a fanfic. Please Review!**

As they entered the castle, everyone looks around. It was so big! Then, as England had told them, Professor McGonagall stood by the steps.

"Follow me into the Great Hall. There, you will be sorted into your houses. The rest of the school is waiting for you." With that, she pushed open the doors, and led through the aisle up to the front.

"Wait here. After Professor Dumbledore's speech, your name will be called. When that happens, sit on the stool and put on the hat."

"This year, we have some new third years from all over the world. They are here for a new program called the Wizarding Exchange Program. They will be sorted into their houses before the first years. Another thing, is that we have a new History of Magic teacher. Please welcome Professor Arthur Kirkland! As soon as the new students are sorted, the Feast will begin!" said Dumbledore.

"I will now read the transfers' names for them to be sorted," announced McGonagall.

"Natalia Arlovskaya"

Belarus climbed the stage smiling evilly. "Brother, I will marry you!" Russia visibly paled when he heard this. Belarus sat down on the stool and tried on the hat.

"So, Belarus"

"You know about me"

"I know everything about you. You are very ambitious, and will not hesitate to do anything to get what you want."

"That's true"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Gilbert Bielschmidt"

When Prussia saw the hat, he said, "No. No. Ze awesome me vill not vear dat hat!"

Germany pushed him forward, "Gilbert, you must bear da hat."

"Fine….." Prussia dejectedly walked towards the stage.

When he tried on the hat, it told him, "Hello Prussia."

Prussia gasped. "You know!"

"Yes, yes, I know everything abut students. You are definitely…. SLYTHERIN"

"Kesesesese I am awesome!"

"Ludwig Bielschmidt" Germany walked up to the stage. The minute he tried on the hat, it told him,

"Ah! Hello Germany. You are a young country, but with rich history." "How do you know!?"

"I am smart."

"I already know what I am going to be in. Slytherin, right? The house for the bad guys."

"I don't think so, Germany. You are very brave. GRYFFINDOR"

"Francis Bonnefoy"

When France sat down on the chair, he flinched. "Zis hat is so ugly. Why do I have to wear it?"

"France, don't insult me. I am an intelligent hat."

"Fine"

"You are definitely RAVENCLAW" After they heard this, the rest of the countries were extremely confused. Every country had the same identical look of puzzlement.

As France was making his way to his seat, he blew a kiss at a Gryffindor girl. "I'll see you later, love" The girl blushed as he took his seat.

"Ivan Braginsky"

The minute the hat touched his head, it yelled "SLYTHERIN"

Everyone had known that, so no surprise there.

"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo"

"You are very loyal to your friends, so that would make you a HUFFLEPUFF"

"Yay!"

"Roderich Edelstein"

Austria elegantly climbed up the steps onto the stage.

"Hello, Austria. You are a very elegant country, but also very smart. you are definitely RAVENCLAW"

Austria, still in shock that the hat knew his secret, exited the stage.

"Raivis Galante"

"Hello, Latvia."

"You know the secret?"

"Yes, of course. Now, let's see. I think, HUFFLEPUFF"

"Elizabeta Hedervary" Hungary entered the stage, still clutching her frying pan.

When she tried on the hat, it told her, "Well, well, Hungary, I know exactly where you should be."

"You do?"

"GRYFFINDOR" She smiled and sat down next to Germany and put her frying pan down next to her.

"Kiku Honda"

As Japan walked onto the stage, he bowed to Professor McGonagall, and then sat down.

"Hello Japan," the hat said

"Herro."

"You are very smart, shy and quiet. I know where you belong. RAVENCLAW"

As Japan left to sit at his table, he smiled. He was please with his house.

"Alfred F Jones"

When America climbed up onto the stage, he raised his hands and shouted, "I'm the HERO!"

This got a few snickers, a few boos and a few cheers.

"Hello America. I know where to put you. You are very brave, sometimes to the point of foolishness, but still, brave nonetheless. GRYFFINDOR"

"Peter Kirkland"

"Sealand, I know where to put you. You are very determined, and will do anything to get what you want, which is being recognized as a country. SLYTHERIN"

"Toris Laurinaitis"

Lithuania timidly walked toward the stage. He really didn't want to sit up there in front of everyone. When the hat touched his head, it told him,

"Even though you are shy, I know that you will do anything to protect your friends, so you are a HUFFLEPUFF"

Lithuania smiled. He had at least found a place where he belonged.

"Felics Lukasiwiz- Lukasewit -"

Poland sat stubbornly in his chair. "No way am I like ever going to wear that hat. It's like totally ugly!"

"It's okay Pol-Feliks. It will be over quickly," said Canada.

As Poland walked up to the stage, he told Professor McGonagall, "It's Lukasiewitz, by the way"

"Oh, thank you."

The sorting hat told him, "Poland, even though some people think you are obnoxious, I think that you are also brave. GRYFFINDOR"

"Feliciano Vargas"

While Italy walked onto the stage, the nations were all whispering, "We all know where he's going to be." "He's a Hufflepuff for sure."

When Italy put the hat on, it told him, "Hello Italy."

"Ve~Actually, I-a am-a N. Italia. Mio fratello is-a S. Italia."

"I know, but how about I just call you Italy and him Romano."

"Ok"

"I think that even though you seem cowardly, you have a brave heart. That makes you a GRYFFINDOR"

Italy skipped off the stage happily while saying PASTAAA!.

Then he sat down next to his friend Germany. Then he asked, "Germa- Ludwig, can-a we-a have-a some pastaaa?" Germany responded, "Sure, sure."

Murmurs were heard from the nations scattered throughout the Great Hall. "Now I get it, the hat's broken!" "There is no way cowardly Italy could be in the house for the brave!" "Lovino Vargas"

Romano scowled as he stepped onto the stage. "Just-a get it-a over with."

"Very well, Romano. You are tough, but behind that you hide the fact that you are very intelligent. RAVENCLAW"

Romano smiled as he sat at his table. This was the house he had hoped to be in.

"Eduard Von Bock"

"Estonia"

"Hat"

"You're a bit of a smart-aleck, but you are still smart. RAVENCLAW"

"Yao Wang"

China strolled onto the stage confidently. He was pretty sure where he would be sorted.

"Hello China" "Hello, talking hat."

"You have always been a scholar, and that means RAVENCLAW"

China smiled. He was right.

"Matthew Williams"

Canada timidly stepped onto the stage. He really hoped that after this, someone would finally notice him.

"Hello Canada. Most people don't notice you, put you are still special. You are very loyal and brave. GRYFFINDOR"

Canada was ecstatic. He, the one nobody ever noticed, was in the house for the brave! Maybe he would be noticed now…

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~ TIME SKIP UNTIL AFTER FIRST YEARS GET SORTED ~

Professor McGonagall left the stage, while Dumbledore returns to the eagle stand.

"Now, we may begin the feast! Tuck in!" With that, he returned to his chair at the staff table.

All of the nation were about to dig in and stuff their faces when America suddenly realized something. "HEY GUYS! THIS IS BRITISH FOOD!"

Throughout the Great Hall, the nations all shouted simultaneously, "I can't eat this!" "The last time I had British food, I was sick for two weeks. TWO WEEKS!"

Then Germany decided to try a bite of a sausage. "Not as good as vurst, but still pretty good for British food," he thought. "Guys, dis food is edible."

After that everyone tried their food too and realized that only Arthur's food was bad. The stuff here was pretty good.

Hermione looked at America, and asked, "Alfred, why did you all react that way when you realized that it was British food?"

"Where we come from, the food is delicious, and we have all had really bad experiences with British food. Engl-Arthur's cooking sucks!"

France cut in from the other table. "Zat's right! Ze food from my country is an exotic melody for ze tongue! Ze black sheep of Europe's food is so bland! Just like his personality!"

England glared at France from the staff table, and yelled, "I heard that, frog face!"

Hermione went back to her food, looking just as puzzled as before.

"All of these transfer students are very strange. It seems like they're trying to hide something. I wonder what their secret is. I'll tell Ron and Harry later.

Maybe then we can figure this out," she thought to herself.

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**Hi! I really hope you liked it, please tell me your opinion and review.**


	3. Definitely NOT Inconspicuous!

**Sorry that this one is a bit short and took a while. I have a figure skating competition coming up in 2 weeks, so I have been practicing a lot. I will be tanking longer to update, because I have lots of homework and it's assessment period right now. Please! SPARE ME! :( Well, I hope u like it!**

**-Mizuko-Sempai**

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The students all followed their houses' prefects to their dorms, the Nations bickering as they went.

"Ve~Ger-Ludwig, can we-a share a bed?

"Ummm. No, Ita-Feliciano. You vill stay in your own bed."

"Ow! Ouch! I'm still here! AMERICA! HELP ME!" yelled Canada. Poor Canada, why did no one ever notice him? Now he was getting trampled!

"Fortuna Major" said the Gryffindor prefect.

"Ve~Ludwig! It-a is amazing! It-a is-a so pretty!" exclaimed Italy.

"Ja, ja, it is cool," responded Germany

* * *

"Ze awesome Prussia vants all of you un-awesome people to get out of my vay!" shouted Prussia.

"That guy is so bloody strange. Why did he refer to himself as Prussia? I thought his name was Gilbert," Malfoy thought to himself. "And to think he will be my roommate for the next year!"

"Pureblood," said the Slytherin prefect. The wall opened up, and the group stepped through.

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"Solve this riddle. All is One and One is All," **(A/N Notice the FMA reference. I love that anime so much!)** said the door knocker to the Ravenclaw dorms.

"T-That-a fucking door knocker talked!" said Romano.

"Yes, Roma-Lovino. To get in you have to solve a riddle. England told me," China said, covering his mouth as he realized his mistake.

"Panda bastard. Arthur is-a going to-a get-a so mad. Meanwhile, I will try to solve this stupid riddle," replied Romano.

"All is One and One is All. I remember Japan showed me one of is animes with this riddle in it," he thought to himself. ... thinking... thinking... "I've got it!" he cried aloud. "I am One and the world is All!"

"That is correct. Enter."

With that, the door opened.

"How did he get that? That riddle was hard. I guess he is Ravenclaw after all," most of the Ravenclaws thought.

Roman, meanwhile, was smiling secretly.

* * *

~TIME SKIP TO MORNING! ~

In the Slytherin dorms, Prussia was up and ready, trying to get Malfoy out of bed. WHACK! Prussia whacked him with a pillow.

"OUCH! What the hell was that for?" yelled Malfoy.

"Un-awesome roommate, you are making me late to da breakfast," said Prussia.

"Un-awesome?" Malfoy sputtered. "How dare you insult me! My father will hear about this!"

"Don't count on dat."

As they entered the Great Hall, he saw France sitting with Spain, and went to join them, while Malfoy headed to the SLytherin table.

"Ze awesome Bad Touch Trio is BACK!" shouted France.

"Save the turtles!" yelled Spain.

Throughout the hall, there were sniggers and laughter.

"Bruder! Bruder! Later today, ze awesome us are going out to get bier!" yelled Prussia to Germany.

"Okay, fine."

Many thoughts were running through the heads of the students, and whispers were heard too.

"Why are there a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff sitting at the Ravenclaw table?"

"Who are the Bad Touch Trio?"

"Why does the albino want to drink beer? Isn't he underage?"

"Gilbert, you must sit with your own house over there. You too, Antonio," said McGonagall.

Prussia looked towards Professor McGonagall. "Vat? You cant make ze awesome Prussia to sit over there! NO! I vill stay vith zese two awesome people."

"Oh, all right."

"So, Pru-Gilbert, Antonio, we must start pranking zese people tomorrow! Honhonhon!" said France.

"Ve shall plan as ve drink bier!"

"Good-a idea!"

The three grinned evilly.

* * *

At the staff table, England mentally face-palmed. Why, oh why must they always act so immature. He hoped Germany would help keep them under control.

He looked up from his food when he heard, "Yo Iggy! They have moving staircases here!"

He heard a few giggles at the childish nickname, but ignored them. "Alfred, I know."

"Calm down bro, I was just sayin'."

England sighed. He didn't know how much more of this he could take!

* * *

Suddenly, everyone heard a bang from outside the Great Hall, and some yelling. The door banged open, and there stood a small girl with blond hair and a purple ribbon holding the hand of a taller man with the same hair.

"ENGLAND!"

The sound reverberated throughout the entire hall.

"WHY DOES LIECHTENSTEIN KEEP TELLING ME SHE WANTS TO GO TO YOU FUCKING MAGIC SCHOOL?!"

"Big brother, calm down. I would like to talk to Mr. England."

Liechtenstein walked up towards the staff table.

"Mr England, could I please come to your magic school? Big brother said no, but I really want to," she said.

"Of course you can," England replied.

"WHAT! ENGLAND, YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT DECISION FOR HER!" Switzerland shouted, while getting ready to fire his gun.

"Vash, Lili, please see me outside the hall," England said. He really wished that Switzerland would be less violent.

* * *

"Come one, Ron, Hermione. I want to see what they're up to, and why they keep calling each other country names," said Harry.

The quietly snuck out, and hid behind one of the many suits of armor that lined the halls.

* * *

"If you want to come to this school, we must use human names, because they don't know we're countries yet!" said England.

"Engl-Arthur, I will not let you take my sister to your school!" Switzerland said.

"Well, you are welcome to come too. I will just perform a de-ageing charm on you, and make sure to avoid any questions. We must not let them know our secret," England replied.

* * *

"What do they mean, they're countries? That makes absolutely no sense!"

"I agree. We need to find out more about these strange 'transfer students'."

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**Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Thanks! :)**

**-Mizuko-Sempai**


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